I see so many pictures of couples on Instagram, tagged with #RelationshipGoals. It's usually a celebrity couple, or some other people. That got me thinking, shouldn't relationships goals be less about the other person and more about yourself?
My #RelationshipGoals is to be the best version of myself, only then I can share my life with someone else.
We send so much energy trying to avoid being 'alone.' I see people being friends with others they don't really like, because, #squadGoals. I see people getting into a relationship just for the conventional pat on the back.
A worthy goal to strive for, in my opinion, is to become first the kind of girlfriend/boyfriend you'd want to have. We attract what we put out there, and if we are the kind of people we'd want to meet, we would cut through a lot of clutter.
I spent a lot of time just sitting quietly and figuring out what kind of person I am. What kind of person do I want to be? What kind of interest do I want to have, what kind of thoughts do I when to have in my head?
I looked to the people I admire, and why I admire them. I strove to become someone I would want to meet. It took a really long time, and it was hard work.
When it became clear to me who I am, what kind of life I want, and what my dreams and goals are, I realized I don't want to share that with just anybody. It's personal, it's like a prized possession to me now. And I only share it with a few people. Friends, people whom I love and love me, they get to know me and the person I've become. It's private, it's not for everyone.
The more secure I become with these decisions the less I feel the need to defend them. I don't get worked up or defensive over questions of why my life is the way it is.
As far as relationship goals go, I think I have the ability to evoke in someone something they never felt before. I want to be a muse, to make someone throw convention out the window, and feel something he never thought possible.
Independence is a privilege. In other countries in the world, women have no choice but to get married. In some places women even get sold or traded into marriage. Even in this country, some sixty years ago, women could do very little without their father or husband. We are so lucky to have the opportunities we do today, and so grateful to the women who came before us and changed the world.
Choosing to be with someone out of fear of being alone is a slap in the face to all the women (and men) who've worked tirelessly for equality. We are better than that. We deserve more than just "someone."
One of my friends said, "I'd rather be with just anyone, than be alone for the rest of my life." Those are two very extreme choices, it's like saying, "I'd rather drown than be on fire." Our lives are much more intricate than that.
Your most important relationship is one with yourself. And you'll never be lonely if you like the person you are with :))